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Comment by bjornsing | Hacker News Reader

> I wonder if she's ever actually sent a message to someone else. This entitlement of "entertain me peasant" is one of the reasons why I deleted these apps.

I could not agree more. It’s a bit disheartening to see somebody think through online dating to this extent, write an article about it and not realize this.

Before giving up on these apps I actually tried what happens to be the OP’s main recommendation: I wrote in my profile “If you are not interested in a friendly respectful chat starting with a simple ‘Hi’ please swipe no”. Unsurprisingly it didn’t work…

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The story with my wife and partner for > 9 yrs started with a simple hi, in person.

All that can I say about this is that the selection criteria works both ways.

If a person is not willing to give a chance to another person simply based on the first word that comes out of their mouth/keyboard, perhaps it's them that don't deserve a chance

Dating apps are not real life.

Particularly, in person meeting is biased by lots of subtle filters (some of which correlate with compatibility) that matching on a dating app, especially with profiles on either side consciously designed to maximize matches, lacks.

> Before giving up on these apps I actually tried what happens to be the OP’s main recommendation: I wrote in my profile “If you are not interested in a friendly respectful chat starting with a simple ‘Hi’ please swipe no”. Unsurprisingly it didn’t work…

I find that it's better to mention what you do want rather than what you don't want. People seem to respond better to positivity than negativity.

So you mean they match with me out of spite? :P

I think the more reasonable explanation is that they don’t read the profile text: they look at the picture for 20 ms and ask themselves “do I want to be entertained by this peasant or not?” I know it sounds cynical, but I’m trying to take it with a bit of black humor.

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