‘Our kids say our small house is embarrassing’

The answer makes the reader feel good but is lacking as an advice column.

How does the parent handle this social situation with their child? That's really the underlying need, not as much "is my philosophy in the right or wrong?"

I think a potentially usable answer is for them to follow their child through their thought process. Have them walk you through what's on their mind. "Describe for me what it would mean to you to have a bigger house."

It's possible the discussion could lead to the reason why they find the subject to be so important to them.

Or, another tactic could be to just state the obvious: "Since we earn the income that supports the family, our preferences on how we spend money might be different than those you will have when you live on your own." It could move on to "If there is something you would like to buy or a trip you'd like to go on I can help you find ways to earn and save toward that goal."

History and culture suggest they'll be fighting over that embarrassing house within hours of a funeral.