I wonder if it relates to the decline in fertility in the last few decades. Is having kids a motivation for marriage? Could it be the other way around?
Why get married? Typically there’s a wedding. That’s a ceremony involving you, your partner, both partners’ family and friends, and a religious and/or civic authority. You’re throwing a big party saying “we are committed to each other”.
When you’re very religious, this is required to become partnered and accepted as an adult in the community.
When you’re not religious, this is an incredibly expensive way of getting a bunch of other people involved in your relationship, which has a 50/50 chance of ending despite the life vows.
For some it might be beautiful. For others, there’s just no real point to it.
Personally, I’d be interested in a ceremony celebrating a commitment to cohabitation and partnership that sheds the baggage of a wedding and marriage. Something like a domestic partnership housewarming party.
Especially if it didn't involve renting a venue, 25% mark ups, hurt feelings from non-invited folks, decades of expectation building, and an industrial complex focused on money extraction.
we eloped $3,000km away to the tropics to get married. it was more of a holiday with a wedding day thrown in. we loosely, no expectations, invited a few friends and family and were pleasantly surprised to find 30 people met us there.
The whole thing, holiday and all cost us around $10k and was a total blast.
I found the traditional wedding day routine to be super claustrophobic and rigid.
This is the real logic that explains why we never got married. Why spend the money on it? People here say 'think about the people in your life' - but for me, that gets a shoulder shrug. I'd see my parents the same amount, I see other relatives an appropriate amount, I see my friends when I want; frankly I'd rather save the money and spare myself the hassle.
Now you could say "you could go to the courthouse" but, again, shoulder shrug. We could also not, which takes less effort.
So we never got married. Simple as that.