Not bad recommendations, but doesn’t get to the root of the problem.
Generally, the need to be the best comes from having been raised in an environment where you are mainly validated / cared for / loved / given attention when you are doing the best. You identified a bit of this in your post.
Over time, your subconscious learns that the only way to be accepted in the world is to do the best.
Reframing the problem to be the best at something else doesn’t solve that core wound.
If you want to be able to relieve yourself of high goals and pressure you need to work on your subconscious self accepting you only when you’re doing the best.
What does that look like?
- Spending more time with other people who aren’t perfect. - Noticing the feeling that comes up with you when you fail at something. Acknowledging the feelings. - pay attention to things in your life that you’re not the best at and notice the ways in which you are still ok. (I’m not the best electrician, but the lights in my house still work). (I’m not a pilot / flight attendant, but the airplane still got there). (last week I got second place at a basketball game, but my team still invited me)
It’s long work, but if you choose to pursue it, you come out with the ability to be at peace in the world where you are at. Also generally as a side product, you can be more successful with that relaxed attitude.
This is a late comment, but if anyone has questions would be happy to provide references/ further readings & answer questions.