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Comment by btilly | Hacker News Reader

People hate this question, and they should love it. This question is your opportunity to bring out whatever you most want to be accommodated on. That way if you get the job, you are in a good position to negotiate what you need for your life.

Here are some examples that apply to various people I know (I actually have used one of these in interviews, but I won't say which one):

- I have considerable child-rearing duties, and my schedule has to revolve around that. I have little scheduling flexibility if you need me at odd hours.

- I am a very social person, I need to spend a certain amount of time every day actually talking with people or I'll go crazy.

- I am an orthodox Jew, so I have to leave early on Friday night.

etc

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My line would be (and I suspect many HNers):

- I need to be intellectually challenged or else I get bored.

Yeah, but that line is used so often. Same with "I am a workaholic" which many people I know use.

That's an interesting approach, but how many potential employers would raise an eyebrow if you mentioned having kids or being a social person as your greatest weakness? I know it would smell like BS to me.

It might smell like BS to you, but for the right person, both are absolutely not BS.

For example I have kids that I am the primary caregiver for. My wife is in a residency, so she can't be relied upon for child care. Therefore I cannot leave for work before the kids are in school, and I must return from work in time to relieve them from the childcare arrangements I have for them after school. No matter what is happening in my job, I have to do this. You cannot send me away on multi-day trips to a conference because I can't go. I can't stay for an emergency at work. My primary obligation is to my children.

Depending on the job this could be a minor detail, or an absolute deal breaker. Certainly it is something that I will need to have any potential employer be aware of and OK with. If that will be an issue, it is important that it be sorted out in the interview.

If you hear this in an interview and it still sounds like BS to you, I've done us both a favor. You won't hire me for a job I shouldn't be in. Because everything that I said is absolutely true.

On the off chance that you are reading this now that this is long off the front page: what I meant is that both having kids and having a social life is considered a strength, not a weakness, by most people.

I have kids too and I know what ordeal it can be, but "this is an ordeal" is not the same thing as "this is my biggest weakness".

You're right that it is something your potential employer would ideally be made aware of ahead of time, I'm just not so sure that doing so by way of calling it your greatest weakness is necessarily a good idea.

That said, good on you for taking good care of your kids, and I hope that things soon get a bit easier for you and your wife.

It may be a strength in your personal life. But as an employee, my commitments are a weakness. As much as employers may laud good parenting in the abstract, it is far from the top trait you want in an employee.

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