As someone who wants stuff like this to succeed, I must say you lost me at DDR4 and ~1" thick.
My laptop has a Bluetooth adapter connected internally, made by Intel.
# modinfo btintel
filename: /lib/modules/6.1.30-1-lts/kernel/drivers/bluetooth/btintel.ko.zst
firmware: intel/ibt-12-16.ddc
firmware: intel/ibt-12-16.sfi
firmware: intel/ibt-11-5.ddc
firmware: intel/ibt-11-5.sfi
It still requires binary blobs to function.I know that I've used a realtek USB <-> Ethernet adapter without firmware. Unfortunately, it did not work reliably unless firmware was loaded.