Q. Is it true that the battery has catastrophic failure when it drains to zero and is left in that state for a sustained period?
A. The company has built in countless safeguards to ensure that the battery never drains to zero.
Q. That is not what I asked. Please answer the question.
A. It is an unfounded rumor that many owners have incurred such a catastrophic failure and only an irrational fear would permit anyone to believe that.
Q. I didn't ask about many owners, only whether it is possible to incur a catastrophic failure as described. Please answer the question.
A. Our documentation clearly tells owners that it is vital to keep their car plugged in and we give them ever-escalating warnings to ensure that no rational person could ever let the car get close to that state.
Q. I didn't ask about the likelihood of this happening, only whether it can happen. Please answer the question.
A. We value our customers more than you can imagine and it is slanderous to suggest that we would subject them to risks that can be avoided.
Q. Again, not what I asked, please answer the question.
A. Every car has risks of catastrophic failure if it is badly misused.
Q. Does this mean the Tesla does too with its engine?
A. We will not dignify a mere rumor with an answer to that question.
Q. And is it true that it costs $40K to replace the battery?
A. I object to that as irrelevant.
Q. And that it is not covered under warranty?
A. Ditto - irrelevant.
Q. And constitutes an uninsurable risk?
A. We really are off track here. I will not answer.
Q. So you do not regard it as worthy of disclosure to your buyers that, should their battery drain to zero for any sustained period, the only remedy is to replace it at their own expense at a $40K cost.
A. That disclosure would not fit with our marketing plans. Plus we say something of the sort at page 487 of our owner's manual.
Q.Well I guess this was all pretty pointless.
A. Of course, nothing wrong here. Ignore the man behind the curtain. What a stupid thing to ask about anyway. The revolution is apace and you shouldn't bother me with little details.