I'm definitely not hand waving away regulatory things that need to change to make things sensible, especially in a way that doesn't just bless the current corrupt system with a new veneer of justification.
High level points, from what I can tell -
1. The laws/regulations enabling the current system/cartel need to be scrapped. This includes the ability for providers to unilaterally assign arbitrary debts to patients, and the regulations enshrining the existence of HMOs (I assume these exist because HMO "networks" look exactly like what an 80's Coase fallacy drunkard would think constitutes competition)
2. New regulation / anti-trust enforcement needs to be applied to providers, such that they must publish clear prices for standard services that are comparable across providers, and straightforward hourly rates for anything that cannot be captured on there (with any nonconforming bills being considered attempted fraud).
3. New regulation / anti-trust enforcement needs to be applied to insurance companies, outlawing "provider networks" and rephrasing all insurance coverages purely in terms of prices, applying to any medical service from any licensed medical provider. That parallel "medically necessary" approval system needs to be entirely eliminated.
> Multiple subsequent visits where we shared complications with the surgeon were handwaved away as “you’re just not used to recovery from surgery”... The standard of care is so low
Routinely experiencing that dynamic of poor care [0] from the medical industry is exactly what makes me shake my head at the simplistic "fix it by having the government take it over" narrative. Ballooning costs and individual ability to pay is a problem, yes. But the much larger problem is the utter waste of medical talent, because the system has been designed around terms of top-down paperwork-filling rather than responsiveness to patients. The doctor should have been working for you, and you should have been able to get more time/attention for the doctor to have taken you seriously. But that was impossible because the "insurance" company dictated that you got one tiny follow up appointment, with the doctor focusing on filling his seat during that appointment, doing the bare minimum that conforms to the top-down standard of care, and avoiding doing anything extra that might create legal liability.
[0] Although not as much malpractice and completely avoidable as yours. I'm sorry for what you both went through.