Comment by magic_hamster | Hacker News Reader

Comment by magic_hamster | Hacker News Reader

There is something to be said about being obliviously spoiled, privileged or entitled, and also trying not being this way when you come into money.

When I joined my second job in tech, it was a massive bump in almost every way, and immediately I noticed the people around me were drastically different than the colleagues I had in the previous place, a frivolous tiny start up. The new people had almost no appreciation for money; they moved about like nothing could really go wrong; and while they weren't mean, they were somewhat spoiled and detached from reality.

I remember thinking to myself that no matter how much I make, I don't want to be like them in terms of character.

I know people who were born into wealthy families and hearing their silly complaints about how some miniature detail is not 100% in their otherwise perfect and seemingly challenge-free lives was almost physically painful.

However, it made me realize something too. Being happy and having substance does not directly correlate to how much money you have. Evidently, a lot of very rich people aren't particularly happy, and in this article, the author also found no meaning anywhere until they lost their job.

It's the ability to appreciate whatever you have, your assets, your health, and strive to be a better person, have some goals to aspire to. When I catch myself getting upset about something completely meaningless, I try to remember this.

> Being happy and having substance does not directly correlate to how much money you have.

There is a correlation. There's an ideal income level that correlates with increased overall happiness. Less than that, or more than that, and people will be less happy.

But I agree with your larger point. I've lived destitute, among others who were in grinding poverty, and I've lived privileged, among others with plenty of available money.

I've never noticed that one group is really any happier than the other. Some of the happiest people I've met lived lives that most would think would be miserable, and some of the most miserable people I've met lived lives that most would consider golden.

Happiness is about what's going on inside your mind, not so much about what's going on outside of it.

I am not able to read the article (blocked for newly registered domain at work) but I think you took an incomplete understanding of humanity from your story. It's not that the rich guys had silly things they were unhappy about, it's that the nature of human unhappiness is fractal across many domains, including wealth. You think the things they were unhappy about were silly because they solved all the problems you ascribe value to (because you experience(d) them directly at your wealth level), probably by throwing money at it and they have found new things at their higher wealth level to repeat the pattern of human unhappiness. I do agree that your last paragraph is the antidote to this fractal pattern of unhappiness though.

> some miniature detail is not 100% in their otherwise perfect and seemingly challenge-free lives

You could look at this as spoiled, or you could see it as someone who has an eye for detail. I don't know the tone they used, but I can imagine this was more like a Seinfeldesque observation of life thana legitimate gripe.

People with money can definitely live fulfilling and challenging lives. Arnold Schwarzenegger famously said that he works out in part because a tremendous physique cannot be bought, you must work for it every day, so it's a sign of character. You could say the same about musical or sports skill, handcrafted items, or the love of your friends and family.

> You could look at this as spoiled, or you could see it as someone who has an eye for detail. I don't know the tone they used, but I can imagine this was more like a Seinfeldesque observation of life thana legitimate gripe.

I tend to look at it like this: humans have a certain base capacity for worrying - for noticing and suffering problems - that's independent of their situations and the nature of problems themselves. Solving problems and improving our lives doesn't reduce worrying, as much as changes the nature of it.

The poor person sees the rich person complaining, and thinks to themselves those are all "first world problems", really nothing to be worked up about. But should said poor person work their way up and become wealthy, they may discover they're suddenly preoccupied by those same problems they used to dismiss as irrelevant.

There's also something to be said for being in vs. out of a certain situations. As a young adult, there ware many weird things I saw older adults worry about - or perhaps make choices based on (what I thought were) weird ethical priorities. Couple years later, with a spouse and two small kids, I find myself worrying about those same weird things, and making similar ethical choices, which suddenly feel entirely justified once you're responsible for and worrying about the physical and mental well-being of a small human under your care.

But yes, on top of that, there's also "having an eye for detail", varying degree of tolerance for minor annoyances, etc. - whole range, up to and including OCD.

> I tend to look at it like this: humans have a certain base capacity for worrying

I heard someone say it this way once: everyone has a problem bucket. With some people, it holds a pint. With others, it holds a gallon. But whatever its size, it's always full.

Nice one, I'm saving it, thank you!

Humans may have some minimum preoccupation with things that could be better. What makes it harder for those at the bottom is they have so few options or ways to resolve those things, and the challenges they face of often objectively much more serious. So a rich person can consider poorer perspectives and be thankful or even motivated to help others. A poor person looking up often cannot help even if they could sympathize.

Just a tangential note, but I find this use of "Seinfeldesque" fascinating. The characters in Seinfeld are based on an old stereotype, the kvetcher.

At this point, do people even know what tropes Seinfeld is based on?

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SeinfeldIsUnfunn...

> Arnold Schwarzenegger famously said that he works out in part because a tremendous physique cannot be bought, you must work for it every day, so it's a sign of character.

It is kind of a half-truth.

A physique can definitely be bought with steroid therapy, free time to exercise as much as you want, great nutrition and being born to parents with good genetics who are loving and caring (height and good body proportions are a proxy for strength)

But compared to say, buying a fancy car or house (other status items), a physique will require comparatively more effort.

Money can make anything easier and more possible, but I doubt even steroids will give you a tremendous physique without a ton of hard work. I don't know enough about steroids to be sure, so I'd be interested to be corrected.

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