I remember one time I was reading patents about almond milk manufacturing. One thing that struck me was the habit of the patent authors to use "bland" as an unapologetically positive descriptor of the taste they were going for. The patent noted that simple milled almond had a strong "marzipan" flavor that was bad for consumer acceptance, but with an appropriate sequence of roasting and boiling, plus of course dilution and cutting with vegetable gums, the almond milk could be made acceptably bland. Few people will admit that it sells to them, but I'm betting an awful lot of hipsters bought the milk described in the patent.

But it also seems that a major part of the trend is just identifying foods that pack well. No matter how good you are at making fried rice, it just isn't as appetizing when it's been sitting cold in a box for six or eighteen hours. Cold cuts are called that for a reason. The cracker is designed from scratch to be made in an industrial oven and packed into sealed plastic bags.

Meanwhile, I'm apparently violating the stereotype (or am I?) by making oatmeal in the office microwave. The trick is to heat it to just boiling and then run the oven on defrost for seven minutes so it doesn't bubble over.