'Do not disturb' settings have been granular enough for awhile now, such that this is no longer a problem unless you want it to be.
On Personal alerts though I gave up the granular filtering a long time ago, real people in my contact list all go through without any specific rules, and I'll actually tell people to stop sending me links to facebook rants in the middle of the night.
Some of the companies and automated services have special rules (my bank, Google account alerts etc.) to let notifications through, but by default I won't allow any service to have notification bells, mail and SMS are silent as well.
Instead of expecting them to guess your waking hours, you could just set your DND to not alarm during those hours. If I didn't do that, I'd be frequently woken by things like Facebook Messenger message alerts.
Sure you can blame the other person. But what good outcome do you gain by such an attitude?
People need to learn to take control of their situation and not rely on others to do it for them? That seems to be the norm in Western cultures, at least.