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Then that's supposed to go onto a private email addressed directly to the investors.

If you want to announce layoffs, do so with humility and lots of goodwill to the people that helped build your company, especially when you're announcing on your website for public scrutiny.

Or it's for the HFT bots that run the press releases through sentiment analysis and make trades accordingly.

<span color=“white” size=“1”>Revenue is up 800%!</span>

How? Don’t the investors have the actual numbers?

Some investors will look at numbers. Others will look at the persona. (See Tesla's technically unreasonable valuation)

Not everyone reads everything, a bunch of people will just follow the market.