you're not supposed to want to think, you're supposed to want to be able to convey to other people that you're part of the same cult they are by using key phrases while not putting in the effort to actually think, and be mesmerized by the ads while you are skimming well enough to bullshit your way through meaningless pseudo-conversation with other cult members about the headline along the paradigm of choices the puppet-masters create for you.
Of course they should just report headlines. You are the product they sell to their customers (advertisers). You think they care one little bit about informing you of the world as it is? It works out best for everyone except you if they don't. Go back to sleep, watch american gladiators, and don't think about it too much.