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Jokes on you, I'll open the computer case and plug directly into the mobo

You couldn't, the case cover is hot-glued to the case. Hot-glue is the epitome of Windows security.

These days I would simply let the PC in the sun until it melts all glue.

/s (not so much)

Can't, the PC is hot glued to the floor

All the cards should be hot glued into place, and any extra connectors hotglued as well. The solution to not enough hotglue is simply more hotglue!

> I'll just unplug your mouse / keyboard / wifi dongle and get to the USB port that it's using. Unless you are suggesting that modern computers should ship with zero USB ports.

PS/2 is still available for mouse/keyboard (and secure). Wifi dongles are abomination. Worst case, hotglue those into the port.

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