That was a lovely comment to read - thanks for that. I've been trying to get into learning music lately, as a change from programming. I'd love to be as familiar with an instrument to be able to work as instinctively as you describe.
I definitely think it’s a worthwhile thing to spend time on, and part of what got me to dive back in was looking at the amount of time I was spending on things like Factorio and Rocket League. Honing my aerial goal shooting skills endlessly was starting to feel not very useful, and I realized it was mostly the challenge that I enjoyed, and that I could find that challenge elsewhere.
Playing instinctively started to happen once I had some good muscle memory established for basic scales/chords/progressions. I hated practicing these as a kid, but they really do unlock possibilities. From there, a few basic techniques can start an improvisation, and the chords/scales/progressions take over.
A little bit every day adds up over time.