There's no hiding totalitarianism,
totalitarian governments exercise
total control over virtually every aspect of the private lives of their subjects. Under totalitarianism, you can forget about choosing your school or career. You might
-MIGHT be allowed to choose your mate, but even that isn't certain because totalitarianism is characterized by such an extreme lack of individual liberty that the state may even tell you who to marry.
A subverted liberal democracy secretly run by a cabal of oligarchs but on the surface still playing hands-off with everyday people's lives is not totalitarianism. Totalitarianism is not some generic insult to describe any oligarchy or authoritarian government. Totalitarianism is the extreme absence of individual liberty.