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Comment by JohnFen | Hacker News Reader

> Am I the only one in that situation? What do you do?

What I did (decades ago) was realize that when I was working from home, I needed to treat it the same as working in an office. What that meant was: I need a room that is exclusively "the office". When I'm in there, I'm working. When I'm not working, I'm not in there. And everyone else in the household has to adhere to one rule -- if my office door is closed, they cannot disturb me for any reason other than an actual emergency, just like if I were in an office outside of out home.

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I did this as well. It took a little time, and a few rebukes, for my kids to understand it as a hard rule. But after that it's been smooth sailing.

It also helps that I majorly soundproofed my home office. Even well-intentioned kids will won't be silent for the entire work day.

I should try the soundproofing. 10 years in and the kids still don't leave me alone, and the rebukes were taking a real toll on the relationship. I work part time in a coworking space which has helped a bit, but it's a real struggle.

Let me know if you want to discuss soundproofing details. I'm happy to share some lessons learned.

Yeah that would be great! Is there much you can do without covering all the walls with foam? Even that might be a possibility, although I don't know if my wife would permit it

Cool, will DM you.

Aye, just gotta rip off the bandaid and make sure you're firm with the rules. My eldest boy has terrible separation anxiety and acted as though I had died for the first week or so, but adjustments were made and it's been relatively smooth sailing since.

I did acquiesce and allow interruptions when the door is open, for times I'm checking email or other administrative tasks. That same son has high-functioning autism so I do find myself bringing him in to calm him down on occasion.

I've found my wife is the one who refuses to follow these guidelines most often, lol.

> I've found my wife is the one who refuses to follow these guidelines most often, lol.

Oh. Solving that one is way beyond the pay grade of all HN users combined, I'm afraid :)

(Just kidding. But it would probably require a discussion with marital-counseling-level candor. So maaaybe not one to have in a public forum.)

My rule is if the door is open or not. If it's open, come on in. If it isn't, only emergencies please!

We have 3 kids (5, 5, 8) and they can actually manage themselves for hours at a time. And I don't mean youtube, TV, or tablets. Just regular playing. My wife works part time so in the summer they don't have constant supervision in the morning.

This is where having more kids can be easier. 1 kid can be lonely, or be unable to get help if they hurt themselves. 2 can be a problem if a fight breaks out. With 3 you have someone who can come get you if there's a problem.

It's really frustrating that the discussion is often "just shut yourself in your home office", as if an extra room doesn't rent out for $1000/month in many cities.

I'm guessing the conversation is biased by the assumption that (remote only) tends to correlate with (not living in an expensive city).

I'm curious what the actual statistics are though.

I went a step further and installed a keypad lock on my office door. I mean, I’ll admit that there are simpler ways to keep the kids out, but it looks cool…

hey now that's an interesting idea ...

I did put a keyed locking door knob on in a previous house but for some reason haven't done it to the new house/office.

Did you have a hard time finding one that would fit an interior door? I had to hunt for awhile to find a keyed lock that would fit since they're all designed for exterior doors.

Checked my order history, the one I got was a “SCHLAGE FE575 PLY 626 ELA Plymouth Keypad Entry”. I don’t remember having any trouble installing this on an interior door (and I’m not very “handy” at all). That said, I don’t know much about doors, so can’t say for sure if it works everywhere. Maybe some interior doors are thinner or something.

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