SomethingAwful is remarkably good, at least as long you stay out of the designated shitpost zones. The combination of monetary buy-in and legacy community does a lot.
I know it's a comedy site, but often people and mods get angry because you don't agree to the same "eat the rich" mob mentality.
US politics has ruined the Internet, and I would like that as far away from my software talk. If a place is politicised, I'd rather have good old anarchism which works well with anti-censorship/cryptography discussion and hacker mentality, than anything on both sides of the political spectrum which turn people into mindless followers.
Lots of people have complained about moderation there but I think it's just a case of avoid the designated spam areas, and don't post nothing.
The latter part is how the HN community tends to self-curate comments anyway.