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Ping don doesn't render the page in a browser. Use webpagetest.org instead :)

Pingdom just measures /response time/, not browser-side parse/render time.

In both Firefox 10 and Konqueror 4.8 there is noticeable lag while scrolling and selecting text. The page also caused my laptop fan to turn on, which only happens when it's doing heavy lifting.

The page works really well in Links, though - loads far more quickly than in the other browsers I tried, no scrolling lag or unusual CPU use.

I was running this on my iPhone 4S. Outside over wireless; waited 30 seconds on a full 5 bars and just gave up.

Not meaning to be offensive at all, maybe it is because of my location (Japan)?

iPhone 4S here; def some cray JS on that page.

In Firebug, I see that just opening that page makes my browser do 281 requests for scripts and what not.

That's insane, users don't like to wait.