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What do you think about evolving the stored procedures into a stateless GRPC service that fronts the database? For the price of 1 (or 2) additional network hop, you get much better devx, while keeping most of the benefits provided by stored procedures.

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I don't think this adds much. The important thing is that your logic runs in the database--how the logic is ultimately exposed is up to you. We did a java app server calling SPs over JDBC with generated, typed bindings and this worked great. You'd have to write a similar tool to generate a gRPC server, but the logic would still be SPs in the database. That's the part that sucks for devs; the bindings are ultimately a detail.

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