I mean this sincerely- you need professional help. Don't make any drastic decisions until you speak to someone that can help you.

Your school should have healthcare resources available to you at no cost- you should start there.

Just call them up and say you'd like to schedule an appointment with a therapist. You don't need to say why- that's between you and the therapist- there is NOTHING wrong with seeing a therapist- oftentimes just being able to air your problems to a confidential source can be very liberating.

Please do talk to a professional- you'll feel better, I swear!