10 & 12, both have iPads with restrictions - 2 hours/day with certain apps excepted, e.g. drawing, coding, other educational apps. No smartphones yet, but both have cellular Apple watches. Texting only with contacts, I manage the contacts. We've consistently drawn the line at 9th grade for their first smartphone, which is fairly late compared to our contemporaries.

They have lots of other things to do, too, of course. We have a Switch, Xbox, trampoline, swimming pool, hot tub, and a neighborhood full of other kids their age. They would probably spend more time on YouTube than I'd prefer if I didn't put a cap on it, but it's been basically fine so far. We do have a rule against iPads in bedrooms with closed doors, though that is starting to relax a bit with the 12 year old.

Kids grow, you kinda have to roll with it and adjust to fit the situation. You can't keep them innocent forever, and if you try, you will not get the well adjusted adult you're aiming for. We have some family who are hard core home schoolers (for religious reasons) and it turns out a disaster more often than not. They're so worried about public school indoctrination but are then surprised to find their own kids refuse to be indoctrinated at home.