There will always be an "End of Life" date. And there will always be a user using the product beyond it.
So my question is: How do we make it safe?
My first thought is a "deadman's switch". If a device doesn't get or see some form of a signal, it just stops updating and disables IOT features. If the user wishes it to come alive again, there's a button they can press to have it "Check for updates" if there are none, it tells the user it is at "End of Software Updates" and "Certain services will be disabled." etc.
We can't stop the issue. We can decide what to do once a vendor decides to stop updating... and make sure that final revision is as safe as it can be. Preferably non-networked (including bluetooth etc).