Comment by braza | Hacker News Reader

Comment by braza | Hacker News Reader

I really distaste those articles because it most of the time generalize based on exception cases.

Not all companies have the resources and/or opportunities like Stripe and Facebook. Coming from the SME/laggard industries those posts sound completely out of touch with the reality of a lot of SWEs that are not in this demographic pool.

One of the biggest disappointments with the SWE was the fact that when I started my career I really enjoyed working with a lot of eager-to-learn young folks at the same time had time to be mentored by a lot of seasoned engineers with 25, 30 years of experience and how those folks liked the technical/development part.

Fast forward a couple decades we're most of the time in my demographic in an environment that has a phobia of age, the craft is not a big deal anymore, a lot of young folks fall short due to lack of mentoring, senior folks do not want to mentor anymore due to cynicism provoked by this same work environment; and everything consists in self-marketing, corporate politics, mimic-big-tech cultures.

that matches also my experience. then again I have always been a part of the problem. I'm like an amoebae without a functioning membrane. I find myself in a sick (intentionally avoiding the term "toxic". "sick" like in "sick system".) environment, then I will turn sick and act sick as well. I partake for a while until one morning I look into the mirror and don't like the person I see there anymore and I either just quit or develop a sort of burn out depression first - or favorably both. it would be easy for me to react cynical towards people like the author who manage to play the game but I acknowledge that at the end of the day she's just living her life and probably has a more healthy and happy mind then me - good for her - me otoh, I increasingly just seek healing which I certainly won't find in any kind of fast paced company.

why do I even write this? well, I think articles like this will make everybody compare one's life with that of the fortunate lady who wrote it. for some this is more of a technical exercise collecting ideas and strategies. for people like me it just brings home the realization that I can't do this anymore, if I ever could. don't want to do this anymore, if I ever wanted. but sort of have to keep going. so, a little bit of a depressing realization over all.

I'm glad you wrote this.

> I increasingly just seek healing which I certainly won't find in any kind of fast paced company.

Yes please, find healing. Impossible to find in any company i guess. Therapy, self-reflection and letting go of pain from the past come to mind. Best of luck.

> I'm like an amoebae without a functioning membrane. I find myself in a sick (intentionally avoiding the term "toxic". "sick" like in "sick system".) environment, then I will turn sick and act sick as well. I partake for a while until one morning I look into the mirror and don't like the person I see there anymore and I either just quit or develop a sort of burn out depression first - or favorably both.

This describes really well how I operate today. Changing cultures is just too much effort if the people don't really want to change. I will make suggestions and see how they are received, if the folks are receptive to it, I will do more otherwise withdraw.

Wow, I really feel this.

I have been mourning / processing the void left by the technical culture I’d fabricated in my mind. It’s like I grew up with a certain notion in my mind and never questioned it: namely that technical excellence was paramount. I also think it is a midlife thing, where you look at all the things you’ve put time into, and ask them, “and for what?”

The way forward for me is bootstrapping so I can buy back that which is most valuable to me: my time and autonomy.

The unbridled optimism about technology of the early-mid 90s was very real and very addicting. Having been around from then until now and seeing what's happening to the internet and open source software is extremely demoralizing.

The Internet is self-explanatory, but what's happened to open source software?

Rugpulls. Companies building off the backs of a community and then trying to form a moat and force you to pay a toll.

I agree with everything here completely and have the same experience.

The costs of making yourself available to mentor others these days are too high. Workplace politics will only make you a target eventually. It even happens (and probably moreso) in volunteer projects. People are rightfully acting more mercenary and more self-interested.

This industry attracts a lot of socially disaffected people who behave like scorpions (Scorpion and the Frog fable...).

I disagree. I have mentored many folks, and actively continue to do so. It’s only been beneficial for both me and my mentors. Not sure where this anti-mentorship culture comes from. I don’t see it at my current company. Even at Amazon I had multiple mentors (I didn’t mentor anybody myself back then).

"So and so said something that made me uncomfortable."

As someone who is white and male, I am not willing to be alone in a room with or 1:1 with anyone except a direct report, in either direction. It's not worth the risk.

I've seen blatantly false allegations completely ruin careers. I've seen people who habitually lie and make repeated false allegations coast on doing no work for years until they get bored and move on -- with full awareness of the company -- because the company doesn't want to risk that kind of lawsuit for firing them. The company would rather that person's whole team be miserable than risk any kind of reputational damage.

This is way more common than you would believe. I have friends who work in HR in other companies who say the same and have the same policy that I do.

It used to be that you could be charitable and by-default assume that everyone's intentions are aligned at work. Same team, etc. However, the people who bring their politics with them to work absolutely do not feel this way and will smoke you if doing so aligns with their cause -- facts don't matter.

And yes I'm aware of the missed opportunities as a result.

That’s insane. I’m gonna retire if I feel the same as you about this.

The reality of my career and that of those around me is that you usually can pick even- or odd-numbered disruption cycles and do pretty well. If you miss the hype train for one fad, catching up might not be your best bet. You might be better off looking for the next train.

In that regard React is a bit of an anomaly. It's occupied the station for far longer than expected.

Somewhat related- I’ve always been fascinated by the notion that a “senior” software engineer can have as little as 3 or 4 years of experience. I just have “software engineer” on my LinkedIn headline because anything like “senior software engineer” hits me as pretentious, whether that’s a title the person gave themselves or not.

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