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happytiger

We just stopped going out. It’s not fun, it’s expensive, and the constant tipping is simply awkward.

So, no thanks. We used to eat out twice a week. Now I go maybe once every 3-6 months, always just for work.

I do tip generously. I just don’t enjoy the culture.

I can’t be alone in this.

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You are not. But every time I bring up the unpleasantness and absurdity of compulsory tipping, people seem to assume I'm stingy.

I live in San Francisco, so the surcharges added to my bill are often:

  * tax (I think it's 8.625%)
  * 18% gratuity
  * 6% SF mandate

I know we've become accustomed to this, but I'm getting real sick of this kind of trickery in the US. I don't see any way to stop it short of legislation, though.

All I want is to pay a straight $15 for a sandwich, and not have to solve the math equation of $14.99 + 8.625% tax + 18% tip + 6% "SF mandate".

I've seen it second-hand many times, the all-too-common mistake of people who aren't immensely wealthy striving to live in SF, somewhere they can't afford to buy property or accumulate savings, and are willing to accept any and all abuse to remain rather than relocate somewhere more reasonable with lower taxes and less bullshit.

I recently visited the UK and it was really nice. Order a £15 sandwich, pay £15.

But 15 quid for a sandie.

I don’t know if it’s across the entire UK but most restaurants in London add an automatic 12.5% gratuity. Only way to remove it is to ask the server which is far more awkward than choosing a tip privately.

We're in the same situation - the budget just can't take it. On the plus side, I've learned how to cook meals better than any restaurant I've been to. Just need the right tools to get started. It's surprisingly easy to cook and cheap if the grocery's bought on sale/clearance.

I agree. But there are some dishes that often taste better at a restaurant or require so much preparation a restaurant is much more feasible. I'm best at cooking things I can iterate on quickly. Especially foods you can taste as you go along like soups and stews. But homemade ramen? One full day of boiling pig trotters to make a broth, only to realize it ended up very mid doesn't exactly inspire me to keep at it. Same with baking that requires me to proof the dough for multiple days. I just can't get it refined enough in a short amount of time to make it worthwhile for me.

French fries are another one which I just can't nail as well at home, and the double cooking is annoying enough to keep me from perfecting it. Also throw in dishes which require more specialized cookware like a tandoori oven. Yeah, you can make naan without it but it's not the same. Largely though I can easily make most "North American" dishes better than what I can experience at most restaurants.

> I've learned how to cook meals better than any restaurant I've been to.

Most restaurants don't serve food that is better than what a moderately-practiced person can do at home.

Restaurants sell convenience and atmosphere.

What kind of places are you even going where "tipping culture" intervenes in such a way that it affects your enjoyment?

I am not at all a fan of the economics of tipping, and I've spent tens and tens of thousands of dollars on restaurants and bars, but I've never once felt tipping intrude on my time.

Generally, I pay and tip at the end of the night. It's a pretty uneventful moment.

Curious how your experience differs.

For table service it’s probably the anticipation, plus the mutual sizing up, that is unpleasant. That would be a low-grade feeling during the whole experience rather than a brief unpleasant moment. I’m talking about others’ experiences, not yours, to be clear.

What do you do now? Go to the grocery store and buy groceries and then cook/clean? Or do you order to-go/takeout/delivery/go pick it up?

Pick up on order outs maybe 10 percent of the time, but generally we have just moved to meal prep.

We cook 3-5 times a month and eat better than we ever have with less work than we’ve ever done for less than we’ve ever spent.

You cook 3-5 times a month? Did you mean week? Otherwise that sounds like a crazy amount of eating out or getting take out food. We cook 5-7 times a week.

Meal prep.

You're not alone. We've seriously reduced the amount we go out as well, in large part because of the tipping insanity.

Thank you. I deeply appreciate you saying something. Nobody in my social circles understands or agrees with me.

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