I don't think such places need to be super inaccessible.
I am in a few Discords, and all of them are full of people who are even more aspy and weird than I am lol
They remind me of the PHP forums of yore.
One Discord I am thinking of here is focused on a video game, and the other major one that gives me that vibe is a functional programming Discord (I believe it's the one linked to from the Haskell subreddit).