Who said I was going to resolve it?
Tolerate doubt and uncertainty on public internet forum, don't go policing other people's behaviours that you don't understand. Offensive.
I don't know anything. That's basically the problem. Based on what OP writes, I'm taking wild guesses at what is really going on, and came to the conclusion that I can't feel comfortable telling them what to do. How do I know I'm not making it worse?
I really really hope OP gets professional help. I happen to know that social workers are a good option when you feel overwhelmed by a multitude of problems and the solution is not obvious.
Sorry again if I worded everything so badly that it came across as if it was dismissive of you/your opinion personally.