Hacker News Reader

Comment by Ographer | Hacker News Reader

The article is saying that autistic people DO know how they should respect authority, however they won't necessarily do all of those things just for the sake of boot licking (feeding the authority figure's ego).

For example, when I got a new boss and all the underlings went to them and start chatting about the boss's favorite sports teams and hobbies to get on their good side. I refused to do that. I'll be friendly, like any other new hire.

Another example might be if an officer asks for your ID, most people might blindly give it to end the situation. An autistic person may choose to refuse based solely on the morals of the situation. If it isn't legally necessary to present an ID, then one shouldn't have to, and they will have lost respect for the police's authority because they are not playing fairly and didn't earn it.

View on HN

> For example, when I got a new boss and all the underlings went to them and start chatting about the boss's favorite sports teams and hobbies to get on their good side. I refused to do that. I'll be friendly, like any other new hire.

I don't know if I would consider this to be only getting on their good side. In many cases, if I am going to spend a significant amount of my life working with someone, I do want to get to know a bit about them and that includes their hobbies and interests outside of work. To me, that is being friendly and I also do that with new hires.

I have second guessed myself for years over this.

When we went to get drinks the first week, he told a co-worker that his wife is into horseback barrel racing. I saw some common ground and said how I used to do barrel racing when I was a kid and how it's a cool sport. He looked at me funny and said, "heh, I find that hard to picture/believe" or something like that.

In every interaction, I felt like I was being put down. Maybe he thought that criticizing everything I did was going to make me try harder, or suck up more, but for me it did the opposite. Encouragement is what makes me try harder.

I also had my own internal bias. I was the nerdy city slicker and he was the tough ex-military, country guy. I think we both projected stereotypes on each other.

I know I didn't do myself any favors with my behavior, but I continued out of principle.

Anyone who is putting you down for being genuinely interested is not someone worth your time. Sorry you had to go through that.

A good manager will find ways to communicate with each individual, usually in an individualized fashion (I say this as an ex-military, but nerdy city slicker guy). Sometimes it takes me a few tries to figure it out for everyone, but it's been helpful to connect with everyone on my team and even outside collaborators.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com