Jesus, fuck this—it's all too complicated. I'll just cook at home, thanks. Costs less, way healthier, tastes better and guaranteed to contain no bodily fluids. The enshittification of the food service industry is complete.

1. Not tipping in the aforementioned scenario is so far away from qualifying as "fucking with" anyone

2. Not only would spitting in food get you fired but it's also a crime. Do you really think it's common for people to be this reckless with their livelihood?