One has a natural wall and gives you a lot of control over the situation, the other is intensely vulnerable with a high lyapunov exponent -- i.e., 'it could go anywhere'.
And 'anywhere' includes a lot of very scary places.
And 'anywhere' includes a lot of very scary places.
My favourite new year was working behind the bar and chatting to all the partygoers (some regulars some not). I was supposed to be socialising once food was served, but instead I just poured drinks and chatted shit and it was _great_. I had a purpose and a place and it made it so easy.
I'd have lasted less than 15 minutes in the general area before going home
I tend to have the same experience. If I have a role or a function, or some character to play it's much easier. If it's just me being me, serving no special purpose, it's terrifying.