Why I'm Increasingly Worried About Boys, Too

Let's take ADHD. A set of traits that are often found clustered together. These traits come with a common set of negative side effects. For a person in our society, these negative traits often make it extremely difficult to participate in the labor market the same way everyone else does. It can be extremely frustrating for them and everyone around them.

Now what is worse, having a very real work disability that significantly reduces your work capacity, or having that same disability but everyone thinks you are just lazy and need a stern talking to about it? Imagine if every single responsible person you know gives you a stern talking to several times a week. And you still can't do the task. Your brain simply will not do it. You cry with frustration, angry at yourself for being so "lazy". Oh, here's another talking to from another well meaning person who suggests getting more exercise and cutting out sugar. But you can't make yourself exercise any more than you can do this work task. You desperately want to but are trapped in your own mind.

For this situation, no, identifying that this is a real issue shared by millions of other people does not cause more harm than good. Now the person can start to understand the issue and get scientifically proven strategies for improving the situation.

Do they run the risk of always seeing themselves as the victim, sure, but _they have a real disability_. So does anyone else with a real disability. Of course it can be healthy to not think of one's self as a victim. But sometimes it's needed while processing the trauma of a life lived without knowing why you were different.

Some people, freshly aware of their condition, spend more time thinking about it, talking about it, and learning about it. But then many figure it all out, learn what coping strategies work for them, and then it's just a part of who they are as much as their height and eye color.

IME the historical approach is more about denial and ignorance, where most of my friends find out there are solutions to their problems decades later by accident on the internet or by therapy after their first job-with-benefits.

The cartman-style I-identity-as-my-desease is an obvious strawman. Random annoying person on tiktok should not be used as an argument to keep the world in a state of denial and ignorance.

It is true that there are some corners of the internet where probably-healthy people meet to discuss what it's like to have disorders that they probably don't have, or in some cases disorders that might not even exist.

But you really ought to talk to some actual doctors and patients before you conclude that their problems aren't real, or can be overcome by pretending they don't exist.