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My intent was to say, in a positive way, "If you are unwilling to learn how a serial console works, or how OpenSSH public key authentication works, I'll refund your money and send you to Linode."

That was exactly how I interpreted it when I read it originally.

I love the minimalist page by the way.

It's great design I think. It attracts exactly the kind of people they want as customers.

I see your point. However, I keep reading it as "We don't (have to) assume you are stupid. (We know so)".

spot on +1