We don't. The density of a black hole is not even a well-defined concept; black holes are not like ordinary objects.
> My confusion lies in how we can derive the mass at the hyper-quantum state at the center of a black hole
There is no such thing. A black hole is vacuum inside. The "mass" of the hole is not due to "stuff" sitting inside it; it's a global property of the hole's spacetime geometry, that maintains itself because of the nonlinearity of the Einstein Field Equation.
> from the gravitational waves we observe as it loses energy.
An ordinary black hole in our universe will be gaining energy, not losing it--if for no other reason that CMB radiation is shining on it. But the black holes we see all have matter falling into them as well.
As for detecting gravitational waves, except for violent events like black hole mergers, we don't detect any; what few such gravitational waves there are are far too weak for us to detect.