How to Pick Your Life Partner – Tim Urban | Hacker News Reader

How to Pick Your Life Partner – Tim Urban

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44 pointsacecreamu8 comments

Remember, kids! Unhappy husbands are unhappier than single men. IMHO

50% of first marriages, 67% of second marriages, and 73% of third marriages fail. Success is work, but also luck. One of the hardest jobs you’ll ever have. Marry someone you think you can either go to the movies or war (together, against the world) with. Might work out, might not. People are tricky.

(married 16 years, together 21, outcome tbd)

One counterpoint to this is, statistically, married men live far longer than unmarried men.

agony can kill or agony can sustain life

Lies, damned lies, and statistics. This is old era data. The era when this data is collected is when marriage is overwhelmingly the norm for those generations (the life-expectancy data is collected from the current elderly). People who were single presumably could not get married due to lack of societal fitness (health, wealth or other issues etc). This lack of fitness could very well be co-factors for short life.

Data collected for the next 50 years should be more telling as larger swaths of the population are single regardless of fitness and should reveal more truth.

Choose anyone you like. Chances are you’ll regret it so it may as well be this person as that person.

Decision point questions to consider before taking the plunge:

1. Can you and them dedicate time for relationship maintenance?

2. Would you rather live with this person than anyone else?

3. If you had to choose someone to be your medical power-of-attorney, e.g., if you were incapacitated, would it be them?

4. Are they your best friend?

5. Can you both passionately negotiate and have disagreement without concerns of relationship damage?

6. Is there mutual, genuine caring and respect for each other?

7. Have you known each other for at least 2 years but preferably longer?

Funny how so few resources exist for the biggest decision of your life.

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