thats confused and wrong. it doesn't matter one bit if the merchant-of-record collects and remits VAT or if you do it yourself. the money ain't yours either way.
what does matter in a big way for small business is VAT liability in the first place. merchants-of-records like Paddle and the various AppStores are basically liable for VAT in every country around the world.
however a small business (like in this example with 100k revenue) is not VAT liable everywhere because VAT thresholds are often much higher. if you sell directly (e.g. via Stripe), you don't have to collect the VAT when selling in most jurisdictions except Europe. so you can either offer the product for 20 percent less and have a more competitive price or increase the price by the VAT and pocket it yourself instead of having to give it to the government of the customer.
if believe this makes a huge difference for small companies but is rarely mentioned.