Things can turn around. In 2016 I felt the same way as you. It was the nadir of my life, and was interspersed with suicidal thoughts. We barely kept our Chicago apartment.

Don’t give up hope, and keep trying. Also, one key for me was to get properly medicated. Prozac was a turning point, but everyone is different. There was a clear step function from "before Prozac" to "after Prozac". The suicidal ideation stopped, among other things, which let me get my life in order.

Mostly just remember to enjoy each day in small ways. The only thing I regret from 2016 is not taking the time to appreciate the small things. There’s an interesting mental exercise to snap you out of this: pretend you’re on your death bed at 80, and then you were magically transported back in time to the present day. What would you do? Even being able to run is a blessing I don’t remember to appreciate until I can’t.

You’ll figure it out. Or at least, the chances of you figuring things out is much higher than things going downhill forever. It’s the default path, even if it doesn’t feel like it when things are going wrong.