Comment by js2 | Hacker News Reader

Comment by js2 | Hacker News Reader

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I'm with you right up to that part about not homeschooling your kids (homeschool dad here). But I'll let it go since I think you may just be trying to provoke an argument. :)

(Unless you've homeschooled, I don't think you have any idea how much social interaction homeschool kids can get; we don't just sit at home all day.)

Edit: I see comments below on homeschooling and from homeschoolers. Our kids get a ton of social interaction outside the home: homeschool co-ops/events/park days with other homeschoolers, language lessons, sports (karate, soccer, equestrian), music lessons, girlscouts/boyscouts, university outreach programs, town provided activities (acting, choir, pottery, etc), temple, playing with all the neighborhood kids, and that's just off the top of my head.

My kids are 9 and 11 right now and are way more comfortable socially, and better at it, than I (public school) ever was.

Ultimately I think a lot of it has to do with the kids and the parents. We chose to homeschool our kids because we think we can do a better job with their education, but it certainly hasn't hindered them socially.

I went to a well respected magnet school for high school, so we had a lot of HS freshmen that were previously home-schooled. Then I majored in Physics in college, so we had a lot of college freshmen that were previously home-schooled.

I came to the conclusion that while there is a strong correlation between home-schooled kids and poor socialization, it's almost certainly not as causal as most people assume. All the "really weird kids" that were homeschooled had equally weird parents, so there is a good likelyhood they would have had issues even being in public school.

That being said, it did seem clear (and obvious in retrospect) that what homeschooling does is allow the parents to have a much larger influence on their kids up to an older age. The typical late-elementry aged kid will have picked up a lot of behavior and habits from their peers, wheras the homeschooled kid of similar age will have done so to a much lesser extent. However, that influence seems to expire aproximately 4-8 weeks after the kid leaves the homeschool environment so I don't think it's a big deal in the long-term

There could also a be a self-selection bias.

Kids who like to socialize might resist homeschooling even if their parents wanted it, because they want to be at school with their friends. On the other hand, "weird" kids might beg their parents to be homeschooled because school is so painful for them. So it would be too simplistic to say that homeschooling causes poor socialization. It could very well be the other way around, too.

There are also pretty strong influences on parents choosing to homeschool, which filters down the parents as well (and who the parents are has a huge impact on what the child's experience will be).

Obviously the parents who homeschool because they want to keep extreme control of their children's lives & ideas (like hyper-religious parents who don't want their children taught evolution, or getting ideas that a woman might want to do something other than marry & have children) won't be giving their children a good experience.

But the biggest thing that strikes me is that parents who themselves are succeeding in engaging the world at any kind of scale -- in making rich & fulfilling lives of their own -- will find it extremely hard to be responsible for so much of their kid's time.

Whereas the parents who would find it easiest are basically those who are already at home and have lots of spare time -- but what example does that give? And worse... if the parent's way to do something meaningful in the world is to raise a child who will do something meaningful (i.e., pass the buck, really), those expectations can put a huge strain on the child.

I was home schooled, and I believe it did hinder me socially. What you say about social interaction outside the home is true, but it's still not all that much.

One of the most well-adjusted 'kids' I ever met was 18, starting college, and came from a home-school environment. I, on the other hand, went to 'normal' school and was a fairly typical 'weirdo'. By the end of high school I had no friends left at the school and couldn't wait to join the navy and get the hell out of there. It was the navy that finally got the social akwardness out of me, not school. If anything, high school seemed to make it worse - the longer I was away, the better I got.

Different things work for different people. Some people work very well under a homeschooled routine. Others do not. Do not tie your kid to one or the other for the sake of your ideology - go with what works for them. Experiment if need be.

The great part (or the problem) is that it depends on the parents. And on the kids.

I was homeschooled for a bit, but it got to be too much for my mother (there were six of us kids at the time), so we went to public school. I needed the socialization. Even though I spent the majority of my time in public schools, I still didn't get that part quite right.

My kid brother (7 of 8) was home schooled later in life. Highly social. Smart too. But because his secondary education was primarily influenced by our mother, he's academically weak in the same subject she is. ... particularly math and science. The six oldest of us disagreed with their decision to home school through high school (we'd all been h/s-ed at some point in elementary and gone to a public high school).

Bottom line is, it depends. It may be the right decision for some.

Unfortunately, we often encounter too many examples of those that it wasn't the best solution for their circumstances. The ones who get it right often don't advertise their origin, be they "normal" or "brilliant." So, societally, we're left with a negative bias.

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