I've read what you've written. I won't give you a long argument about why therapy can help someone in you situation because you won't buy it.

But I will say that as someone who spends all day with people that have have his kind of intelligence, therapy is for you. Recontexualizing your life, past and present, as well as your future path is pretty much bread and butter CBT.

Too many smart people have the disease of "I know better, therapy can't help" which is why for example elite institutions have the highest suicide rates. You're falling into that trap, but it's a catch 22, once you're in it, you won't be able to logically argue your way out. Just take the leap and go to therapy.