Yes I'm well aware of the grandiosity you attribute yourself which covers the hurt and vulnerable child within screaming to not be abandoned, abused, neglected, shamed or isolated. But nobody here will do that to you. This place is a safe place. People only wish you well here given all the comments urging you too bring the critical thinking that this forum is well known for to your own problems. It could be that you don't know everything. It could be that therapy could help you. You simply should try it while heartedly before you dismiss it so eagerly.