I have a lot of stuff I want to work on but completely lack the motivation/mental health/physical health to get into a consistent routine that lends itself to me getting these projects done

I'm in my mid 30s and my preference would be to sit on a porch at a cabin in the woods and wittling a spoon next to a fire with a cup of tea. But I need to keep my skills sharp to stay employed so here I am, sitting in guilt over the lack of productivity in my life and living out a tremendously mediocre career making one fourth of what I'd make if I ever applied myself