Next I messed around with an old OrangePi just to realize they never updated the Armbian (even though I got the device tree into the Kernel!). Downloaded the ancient image from their Google Drive, got BalenaEtcher running again (its not in my repos) and then figured the SBC must be fried anyway.
Luckily I remembered that I still had a RPi1 that was collecting dust and should work with any old USB charger. Checked `rpi-imager` and indeed, it supported that old thing! Created the SD card (config was still saved), grabbed an old USB WiFi adapter and powered the thing up. And it just worked :)
The emergency was: My 20m USB extension cord with the zigbee coordinator failed after 2y, and I could not turn on a few of our lights. Using `usbip` I now forward it to the automation server from that RPi1 (I initially didn't think about the RPi1 since I wanted to run zigbee2mqtt on the device, but eventually found out about usbip). Bonus 1: I still have the spare RPi4 that I wanted to attach to the 3D printer because I could re-use the old one :) Bonus 2: I now know that rpi-imager has a ready-made Klipper image and I don't need to set it all up by hand.
Next time I consider getting another SBC, it will be an RPi again.