A Single Small Map Is Enough for a Lifetime
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noemamag.com
It wasn't until I turned 30 and abruptly made a decision to pick somewhere and stay there that I found the kind of satisfaction it seems like most people get from traveling. It's not challenging for me to adapt to new situations and experiences. It's challenging for me to navigate the depth of experience of the same people and the same places, day in and day out. It's especially challenging for me to face the depth of myself that I have encountered since deciding to put down roots.
It's a lot less glamorous to invest my time into trying to understand and solve local problems with local people than it would be to create highlight reels of exotic locations, but I feel like I'm growing more this way than I would otherwise.
It makes me think whichever type of experience you didn't grow up with might be the challenge you need as an adult. If you grew up with all the challenges of a small town people rarely leave and where everybody knows you, maybe you need the challenge of new places where nothing is familiar and you have to start all your encounters from scratch.
But if you didn't "belong" anywhere as a kid, maybe what you need to develop in adulthood is the opposite.
There is a parallel with personal relationships. Some people churn through relationship after relationship, always looking for a refresh on the exciting feeling of being with someone new and falling in love (or something like it).
Others find a person and settle down into a long term relationship and are happy with it. Sure, the thrill of a new relationship goes away pretty quickly, but if you are lucky enough to find the right person, that is OK. As the relationship goes on, that shared history builds into its own beautiful thing. Maybe I'm alone in this, but I've thought about it this way. Studies show how unreliable memory is (see the Challenger disaster memory study [1]), and if a memory is only in my head, I can't be sure it happened that way, and ignoring that issue, it feels kind of like knowing a joke that I can't share with anyone. But with a long-term relationship, all those trivial things of your life are shared with someone else who gets the references and jokes and callbacks, and it makes it more real; it confirms that I really did live that memory, and you get more value out of it than if it is lives only in your own head. This might not make sense to younger people, but at 60 it is becoming relevant to me.
Also, please don't get me wrong -- I'm not saying settle down for the sake of settling down. If you haven't found the right person, keep looking for them.
[1] https://www.csmonitor.com/Science/2014/0128/Where-were-you-w...
A few minutes ago, I hugged my wife (one of the simple pleasures of WFH!) and after remarking how good it always felt to do that, jokingly said, "after all this time, shouldn't I be indifferent to you?"
We've been together for 22 years.
She replied, "it's probably because I have a million different personalities."
Maybe to get that refresh it isn't necessary to meet a new person. Just to see the same person in a different way.
Since then, I've traveled a bit further, but always with "slow" transportation: First by car, but more recently on my sailboat. Last year we went to the Bahamas via Nova Scotia and the US East coast, and it only made me appreciate home even more. I never realized how much I loved winter until I skipped one!
But yeah, picking a spot to live is an important step; one which I took at about 25. I'm now slowly realizing that all my interests (sailing, snowboarding) would probably be better served somewhere else, but I don't really want to start over. I live in a (very) small town where we all know each other, but it's very welcoming and there's a lot of "immigrants", so you don't have to have been born there to integrate.
It's a beautiful province, and I wish I explored it more before I left. I try to repair that every time I visit, but there is never enough time and it's hard to get around without a ride.
I also really relate to that feeling of never belonging anywhere. It was only recently I realized how damaging that was. I never really invested in relationships with people because I always had the unconscious thought that they would be gone tomorrow. I'm trying to work on that now.
I’ve moved countries a lot, my immediate family is all over the place and also moved quite a bit.
So how do you pick a place and country to live? Because all of Europe is an option, I’m lucky but also don’t know where (and how) to pick.
Could you share the insights if any you got from your experience settling someplace?
I'm curious – how did you decide where to put down roots, after all that travel? Someplace you visited and liked? A relationship or job?
From there, I looked at weather. I despise being overly hot, especially (but by no means exclusively) if it's humid, but I don't mind the cold at all. I would miss snow if I didn't get it every year. That narrowed it down to about a dozen, if I remember correctly.
I prefer not to live in crowded places or dense cities, and this knocked a couple more places off the list (it's too dense for me almost everywhere within an hour and a half of JFK in NYC for example). I also wanted to be somewhere reasonably close to "stuff to do outside."
When I got it down to 6, I ranked them based on places I had some connection to and decided to go visit them all, looking for wherever felt like a good fit. I didn't make it past the first stop, though. I went and visited the place on the top of my list, which I had spent some time near before, met some like-minded people and moved three months later.
Ironically I'm not still in touch with the community I first wanted to connect with, but I got plugged into the area in other ways and made connections with other groups. After some immediate family chaos (several moves, a couple deaths, a divorce), my mom actually ended up moving out to the same area, and I think by now this has become "home."
When I was an adult, I tried traveling on the cheap, as young folks do. Backpack and train passes. Hostels and couch surfing. My friends kept insisting I would fall in love with it eventually, but I never did. I'm quick to make shallow connections, but slow to make deep ones, and "shallow" and "empty" land pretty similarly for me.
I don't remember having major expenses. I had started working when I was 14 (mostly officiating sports for younger kids, which paid 4x the minimum wage in my area) and I never had expensive hobbies, so I had a little money, but it wasn't expensive to travel.
In contrast, I realized that I didn't have a ton of experience "staying." Naively, settling down, marrying, having kids, buying a house sounds "boring" compared to picking up and going to Senegal on a whim, but at this point of my life the boring was much more of the adventure and unknown than the whirlwind.
Looking back on it, I am definitely growing and learning much more from being a husband, a dad, a homeowner, neighbor, etc than I would from going on another 20 trips.
that's the point. America has green spaces, UK has country side, terroir if you will.
A green space is a delineated, commoditized destination. Drive there, park there, do your thing, go back. A country-side can be enjoyed through osmosis, even when living in the city.
They're qualitatively different.
Opinions on property rights aside there is no lack of land to explore and enjoy.
Aside from there there are also state parks and forests, though the states define their own terms of use and enjoyment around them.
It's less about delineated activities (which are a number, countable, very modernist), and more the day2day enjoyment of nature, as it bleeds through city life, you don't necessarily seek it out, it just happens (which can't be put into a number, can only be waxed rhapsodically about, very humanist). It's visiting family one town over, leaving your city house and smelling cow shit as you bike there. It's a train commute and seeing the fog roll over centuries year old pastures on the way. It's eating venison in a tavern restaurant in fall, and was shot by the local hunter's club. It's a date that starts as a forest hike in the afternoon and imperceptibly blends into a pub crawl at night.
I live in a city of a state which is by all accounts rugged and rustic, in close proximity to wilderness, parks, farmland, etc... but there's a clear separation of intent. When I lived in Europe, the enjoyment of nature was more through a surrounding vapor, unconscious.
I'm not saying that one is necessarily worse, but to me the experience is starkly different, and that difference can't be captured in numbers.
It's also a spectrum, location dependent, ymmv, blah blah etc..
There is something to be said for the UK traipsing laws from time immemorial - because you can explore something other than a million square kilometers of mostly unused land.
To me there has to be the people to give the nature significance. Otherwise it's not so much exploration as it is just a massive camping trip.
FFS, there's a National Park in New York City: Gateway National Recreation Area. At least I hope it's still there: used to go mountain biking there a long time ago.
I've lived in Georgia for most of my 40 years, and most of these parks I had never heard of until we went there. I think almost every single one has been a really good experience. And it's very affordable for my family of 5. We don't have to go far. They're all a little bit different.
I've seen Yosemite, and the Grand Canyon, and other sites of note in the US. They are really neat, and can be worth the trip. But I'm pretty sure at this point that I'll never even see everything that my home state has to offer in my lifetime, so I'm pretty content to stick to reasonable driving distance.
But yes, once a private entity owns the land in the US you'll need permission to do anything.
In the rest of the UK, it's a little more complicated (for now): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freedom_to_roam#England_and_Wa...
We have an extensive network of public foot paths and bridal ways that private land owners aren’t allowed to block if they go across their land. There are several through sheep fields, cow fields, crop fields and even a couple of stable fields where people keep their horses with a 5 minute walk of my house.
There's a fight going on around "corner cutting" - https://earthjustice.org/experts/tom-delehanty/wyoming-court...
I can't believe this actually needs to be said.
Not really :)
However I had just read this: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-68077595
The end result is that you can essentially 'point in a rough direction' and walk however far you want, however not just on any part of the land. A good OS map, analog or digital, helps.
"I studied my map for a while and found what appeared to be its most boring grid square: no roads, houses or rivers, just a single footpath, one pond and the merest flutter of a lonely contour line. Here, it seemed, was nothing at all, neatly outlined within crisp blue lines."
Near me that boring grid would almost certainly be fenced off. Untouchable.
A lot of people own land because they want access to it, not because they want to deny everyone else access. Just go up to the nearest house and ask if you can walk through their land, or if they know who owns it so you can ask. People are generally nice about it.
You can also largely ignore corporate ownership of large swaths of land for stuff like logging or mining. They don't monitor it, and are unlikely to make a big deal of a hiker crossing through if you don't walk directly through the part they're working.
There's a greater conversation about private ownership and access to nature, but asking is a practical workaround in the mean time.
This doesn't seem like such a great idea these days, with armed people holed up on their property thinking they are "under siege" when someone accidentally enters their property[1][2][3]. People are too unhinged to risk knocking on a random door.
1: https://www.cnn.com/2024/01/23/us/new-york-man-found-guilty-...
2: https://abcnews.go.com/US/gps-mistake-allegedly-leads-deadly...
3: https://www.wrdw.com/2023/11/03/texas-man-convicted-manslaug...
Private land I'm more concerned about simply due to firearm ownership & laws surrounding it. I'm sure many citizens would welcome respectably sharing. There's just no way to know that in advance and the downside risk feels higher than I'm willing to accept.
Then you look outside and it's nothing but 4-lane stroads, fast food places, payday loan/pawn shops, and liquor stores. Where the fuck are the kids meant to go, the local casino?
1: https://ips-dc.org/whos-profiting-americas-private-juvenile-... 2: https://www.npr.org/2023/04/27/1172544561/new-state-laws-are...
Unfortunately, their locations are not evenly distributed. They are highly concentrated in the Western portion of the country. The closest national park to me is 8+ hours away.
Found this map on a quick search: https://preview.redd.it/public-land-of-us-texas-is-surprisin...
Traveling 20 to 30 miles was doable, but rarely done, so if you did it you'd find quite a different area.
As travel became more possible (first powered boats, then trains) areas became more similar as people moved about. But it was still quite different to go from New York to Boston, even.
Planes shortened it even more; but the real shortening was mass-market communication - radio and then television, and the complete cultural domination of the United States.
Now I can travel thousands of miles in mere hours, to visit someplace that every year feels more and more like I've not really left home.
You can still experience difference, even in the USA, but you have to work much harder at it now.
- Walk every road and alley in a small town. - Bicycle every unpaved road in an entire county. - Follow every trail in a park. - In an unfamiliar city, try to walk to destinations with minimal map or GPS use. This can occasionally lead to feeling unsafe, so use care. Before ubiquitous GPS, I used to carry a compass everywhere to help with this. - Pick a direction and walk for a fixed amount of time, then come back a different way. I once walked 50 blocks in NYC this way during a business trip.
A friend of mine has spent many years hiking to the top of every publicly accessible peak visible from a hill near his house and has had some wild adventures as a result.
It seems that in your 20s there's an inclination towards inspiration: exploring the world, ideas, and oneself.
However, post-30s, particularly when you've settled down and had children, the focus often shifts to cultivating your surroundings; Integrating the values and insights acquired to foster a more beautiful, safer pleasing home environment and community.
So a next step for the writer would be to step into a more active role, like conservation of some of the parts on his map. I think that would bring even more happiness.
Over the pandemic I started just roadtriping in California and after 3 years of that I realized I could spend the rest of my life just going to new places here.
These days I annotate my maps and keep them on a local device. Perhaps someone could suggest software for personal use that would allow non-programmers to create their own maps.
We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time.
T.S. Elliot
He means 20 kms squared, as opposed to 20 square kilometers. The map should be 80cm x 80cm then.
I went looking for geocaches around my house when I was youger, and even nowadays when I have to wait for a train for one hour or two in city I've never been, I usually go looking for caches around the train station.
I’m glad the author finds enjoyment in that kind of adventure but after 10 minutes my brain would be wishing for a mountain bike trail to ride down, a rocky outcrop to climb, or simply some sun and blue sky.
From the author's bio:
"He has bicycled around the world, walked across southern India, rowed across the Atlantic, run six marathons in the Sahara and trekked 1,000 miles through the Empty Quarter. He was named one of National Geographic’s adventurers of the year in 2012."
He was also like you before.
How long will they keep enjoying these distance limited, more local discoveries ? Will they progressively expand back and buy a boat when their kids leave home ? I don't know if people who fundamentaly enjoyed change will be able to fit in a box for the rest of their life.
Cambridge, MN to Ely, MN is a bit longer, 203 miles, to be precise. Hence my surprise. https://maps.app.goo.gl/2U99gUwjmxhNjuNF7
But I really do think we'd be better off of more people voluntarily explored around their own home rather than taking far off vacations. Having lived in several countries and traveled to many more in my younger days (yes, I know, I'm a hypocrite), I don't find short travel visits to really help understand other cultures in any meaningful way like people like to claim. Extended visits or living there for several months or years does non-trivially change your perspective, though. As long as the place is substantially different and you make real connections with people.
You won't see many adverts or travel programs on TV suggesting you go for a ten mile hike starting from your front door. Vast amounts of money are being spent to encourage you to get on a plane and 'explore the world'.
Why in the world would you ever ban international travel????
Out of all the opinions I've read on HN, that must be the most insane one....
As someone who basically lives the lifestyle of a digital nomad, and has been internationally traveling since I was a kid, I think it's the one thing people should do more of.
one is led to believe visiting electric pylons is the new 'adventure'
unless ...
We can collect superlative pictures of unique places-- sometimes jostling among hundreds of tourists to do so. There's certainly joy in this.
But we can also let our curiosity be engaged, and find surprise and wander right next door.
There are myriad pleasures in easy reach, but Pylons? Sure they can be attractive, but maybe aren't the best way to convey the message.
https://www.alltrails.com/trail/hawaii/kaua-i--2/powerline-t...
And despite all of that "civilization", I see deer, coyotes, and a beer on very rare occasions. Despite using that trail for over twenty years, it's a new adventure every time I go down it.