>The mere suggestion that you can't possibly do something should fill you with burning determination and it's a positive emotion to feel in that scenario but they seem to just roll over.

Literally everyone with a somewhat weak self-esteem will shy away. Those friends of yours should maybe start programming as a hobby, for a small, defined project that scratches one of their itches, and then go from there.

I am structured like that and that's how I got into a well-paying job in software development.