In practice, the non-connected/wealthy Whites and Asians are faced with a choice between 'meritocracy' with all the caveats you list, or a system that still has all those caveats, but also actively racially discriminates against them.
In fact, given how under-represented Whites are at the Ivies, all those connections and wealth fall far short of counter-balancing discrimination against them, so it's not just the lower-class Whites that are made 2nd-class citizens: https://archive.org/details/ivy-league-demographics