I wonder if anyone would take me seriously if I suggested WASM as a configuration language. When run, the WASM would be given imports that provide a small API for manipulating the config DOM, and importing and executing further WASM files. Then you can use whatever high-level config language you want (or, say, a subset of Rust) and compile it to WASM.
Existing JSON/YAML/etc could be compiled to WASM that simply builds the corresponding DOM.
Funny joke?