You're not the only person I've heard from to experience that feeling, although you are the first I've heard from to be so candid about the costs of such sacrifice. Others I've discussed these feelings with still feel an unerring duty to sacrifice themselves to their families. It seems that the prevailing wisdom of families would be that feelings of family instability are a result of not sacrificing enough, and that one ought to sacrifice more. I fear at least one may not realize what is happening until he loses what he is sacrificing himself to. I get the vaguely foreboding sense that his situation is not all that unique. Thank you for this. Although I shouldn't need such validation, it helps to hear someone else say what I've been wondering about for some time; it helps counter the rhetoric of those who suggest I will be a bad parent for wondering how much sacrifice is really healthy for the individual and the family, and not immediately answering as much as humanly possible.