If we get OPs dream, it wouldn't.

I understand the sentiment but at some point you're asking for the underlying CSV file. In my opinion a little gear icon which lets you toggle sticky headers and other formatting options and downloadable data as plain text is ideal but good luck standardizing such things.

Same, I can't stand sticky headers, especially on anything involving longform text content. They also make web archiving significantly harder as scrolled screenshots cant be easily stitched together anymore to get the whole page.

> the header gets in the way of my clicking as I scroll

Sounds like your problem are not sticky headers but the "smart" semi-sticky ones that hide or show dynamically as you change scrolling direction, hiding content in exactly the place the user is looking at.