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Level 4 is noticing the same things as 3 but not calling attention to it so conspicuously and presumptuously.

That would still be listening level 1. If you're asking questions and worried about how it makes you look, that's focusing on yourself.

My examples don't come across good via text; I would edit more fleshed out ones if I could.

But in any context, if you're focused on yourself, you're not listening.

Uhhhh no it's focusing on the fact that responding to someone in the way you describe as level 3 makes people uncomfortable. You want to put the other person at ease so you consciously avoid revealing the ways in which you've analyzed their behavior. Nobody wants to feel like they're being observed so intensely by the person they're talking to.

Without their permission, absolutely. This is in the context of coaching in which there is an agreement that yes, you may be observed pretty intensely. It does feel vulnerable, and it's up to the coach to make the person feel safe.

Lvl 4 is not worried about how it makes them look, they're worried about presuming to inexpertly psychoanalyze the other person when they're just wanting to be heard.

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