That was my thought exactly. "Doug, your LAPTOP and laptop accessory bag can be picked up from the IT Lab." Yeah.
"Doug, it's important that, when writing JavaScript, your use JSLint to verify it. Do you know it? If you need any help, refer to our internal wiki."
"Doug, opinions vary on the necessity or value of tools like JSLint. Consult your team's technical lead for guidance on whether your team chooses to enforce JSLint's strict guidelines."
"How many golf balls can fit in a school bus?
Why should he be treated differently than any other talented programmer? The goal of the orientation process is to familiarize one with the company, not to teach programming skills.