The total cluelessness belied here in an effort to discount bitcoin as though it's unthinkable that anyone would want it is such a silly posture to take.
Before the transaction pool wasn't crowded, now it is because it's highly valued around the globe.
It's a vehicle for scarcity, and functions like a money or foundational asset similar to a US treasury which serves as the base asset for the USD (along with gold to some extent until the federal government debased those holdings through profligate spending). In some sense a US treasury is a token, it's as money by banks, which is probably how bitcoin could end up, while also being a much more transparent system that individual can use to some extent though not "for buying a coffee".
Coffee shops don't accept gold bars either, yet gold has certainly been money (not so much these days).